If you are interested in exploring the sensual side of life this weekend, or maybe even planning a surprise romantic evening for your love, this idea might appeal to you. As you know, communication plays a vital role in any relationship. There is, however, more than one way to communicate. A lot of times, expressing your feelings and emotions without words can create a much bigger effect on your love than simply telling them how you feel. The evening detailed below is designed to enhance your communication with your partner through the use of sight, smell, taste and touch. If done correctly it will leave your lover in absolutely no doubt about how much you love them, and will create memories that can last a lifetime.
Ingredients:
* A secluded area of the room, preferably a corner
* An air mattress or something soft and comfortable to lay on
- A collection of soft comforters or blankets would work well
- Satin or silk sheets if possible
* A collection of soft pillows
* Decorations in the form of plants, flowers and rose petals
* Soft romantic lighting
* A large fruit, cheese and/or deli style meat platter
- Could be catered from a local cafe
* Chocolate and other romantic finger foods
* Soft romantic background music, such as sitar music
* Sensual props that invoke different feelings, such as feathers, a sponge with a bowl of warm water, some soft material, chocolate syrup etc.
* If this is something you are doing to your partner, you may want to include a blind fold
* Whatever else you might want to include
The idea here is to communicate as much love and romance to your partner without either of you saying anything. Start off by sensually exploring different areas of your partner's body through the use of your fingertips, lips and the sense of smell. Try to stay away from the erogenous zones to start with. You want to take things slowly and thoroughly enjoy each moment. Pamper your love by feeding them different foods while looking deeply into their eyes. Basically, you want to do as much as you can to make your partner feel incredibly special by exploring all the different avenues of communication while saying as little as possible. After doing this you will soon discover that silence actually is golden!
Showing posts with label sex tips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sex tips. Show all posts
Friday, October 8, 2010
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Backhand grip
This one – kind of a backwards version of the "fist" – is a little funny, but it feels very good. This time, grab your penis from the left side rather than the right (if you're right-handed). To do this, rotate your wrist so your thumb is pointing down; you may have to pull your penis slightly to the side. It's a little awkward at first, but it's an excellent grip to use when you just want to try something other than the "Fist" for a few minutes.
Friday, October 1, 2010
Orgasms
What is an orgasm? Most people who have had orgasms would probably respond to this question with a resounding "duh! You'll know it when you've had it". But this response is little help to those of us who have never had an orgasm before, or aren't sure if we've had an orgasm before, and in truth, we might respond to our hypothetically obnoxious friend by asking "if you think you've had an orgasm, how do you know for sure?"
Our friend might be surprised to know that the answer isn't a simple one. Whether it lasts for two minutes or two days, sex play is a busy, complicated enterprise, and defining what part is exactly the orgasm is tricky:
* Is orgasm that one brief moment you get over the top, just after the building in excitement and tension, and just before the release and relaxation?
* Is orgasm the physical things that happen to our body, changes in heart rate, blood pressure, muscle tension, skin color, or is it the muscle contractions?
* Is orgasm the same thing as ejaculation?
* Or is orgasm a psychological or emotional or spiritual experience that comes with the physical changes?
Despite its almost universal appeal, orgasms have, until very recently, received relatively little attention in the scientific literature, leaving us with a murky understanding of what an orgasm is. As a result, over the years how orgasm gets defined has been determined largely by who is defining it.
Medical/Physiological Definition of Orgasm
Medical researchers have tried to define orgasm based on what happens in our bodies. They've measured increase in heart rate, body temperature, skin flush, hormonal changes, changes in sensitivity, muscle contractions, ejaculation, and more. Research can tell us the "average" measurements for orgasm, but there are no universally agreed upon limits for these. Nonetheless, all of these things have been used to "prove" that an orgasm has occurred. By these definitions, if you're body responds in a certain way, you've had an orgasm.
Psychological Definition of Orgasm
Psychologists and psychiatrists define orgasm based on subjective experiences of satisfaction, release, and other emotional and/or cognitive changes. Freud (who distinguished vaginal from clitoral orgasms) considered one kind to be proof of psychological health and the other to be a sign of psychosocial development that has stalled. By Freud's definition a good orgasm came from vaginal penetration, and a bad one from clitoral stimulation. Most psychologists and psychological researchers have abandoned this concept and by most of these definitions either you've had an orgasm when you say you've had an orgasm, or you've had one when what you describe matches what some expert proposes orgasm to be.
Cultural Definition of Orgasm
A much longer tradition of defining orgasm comes from artists and writers, who often define or illustrate orgasm by its transcendent, mind altering effects. These definitions are far and away the most colorful, but obviously don't offer any standardized definitions of what an orgasm is. The term "la petit mort" which the French use to describe the semi-conscious post-orgasm experience is a good example of a definition which is more experiential than scientific.
As you might guess, in the absence of a clear orgasm definition winner, some propose that to define orgasm we have to consider all three elements.
Two researchers from McGill University have proposed a model of orgasm that encompasses all three of the above elements:
1. Sensory. This refers to all the physiological experiences in our body, including feeling heat, muscle tension and release, heart rate, blood pressure, etc…
2. Evaluative. This is the way we experience and evaluate what's happening; does it feel good or bad, pain or pleasure, intense or mild?
3. Affective. Or our emotional response during and after orgasm; do we feel intimacy or distance, transcendent or grounded, happy or sad.
This model is recommended for at least three reasons. First, this definition focuses on the experience and not the sexual behaviors. It doesn't refer to what body part is stimulated, or how it is stimulated. This makes sense since we don't all have the same bodies, and we don't all get sexual pleasure in the same way. Second, this definition of orgasm complicates matters. Most traditional models of orgasm have been based on Masters and Johnsons sexual response cycle, which is a useful but overly narrow definition of orgasm. Finally, this model doesn't favor one aspect of orgasm over another.
Our friend might be surprised to know that the answer isn't a simple one. Whether it lasts for two minutes or two days, sex play is a busy, complicated enterprise, and defining what part is exactly the orgasm is tricky:
* Is orgasm that one brief moment you get over the top, just after the building in excitement and tension, and just before the release and relaxation?
* Is orgasm the physical things that happen to our body, changes in heart rate, blood pressure, muscle tension, skin color, or is it the muscle contractions?
* Is orgasm the same thing as ejaculation?
* Or is orgasm a psychological or emotional or spiritual experience that comes with the physical changes?
Despite its almost universal appeal, orgasms have, until very recently, received relatively little attention in the scientific literature, leaving us with a murky understanding of what an orgasm is. As a result, over the years how orgasm gets defined has been determined largely by who is defining it.
Medical/Physiological Definition of Orgasm
Medical researchers have tried to define orgasm based on what happens in our bodies. They've measured increase in heart rate, body temperature, skin flush, hormonal changes, changes in sensitivity, muscle contractions, ejaculation, and more. Research can tell us the "average" measurements for orgasm, but there are no universally agreed upon limits for these. Nonetheless, all of these things have been used to "prove" that an orgasm has occurred. By these definitions, if you're body responds in a certain way, you've had an orgasm.
Psychological Definition of Orgasm
Psychologists and psychiatrists define orgasm based on subjective experiences of satisfaction, release, and other emotional and/or cognitive changes. Freud (who distinguished vaginal from clitoral orgasms) considered one kind to be proof of psychological health and the other to be a sign of psychosocial development that has stalled. By Freud's definition a good orgasm came from vaginal penetration, and a bad one from clitoral stimulation. Most psychologists and psychological researchers have abandoned this concept and by most of these definitions either you've had an orgasm when you say you've had an orgasm, or you've had one when what you describe matches what some expert proposes orgasm to be.
Cultural Definition of Orgasm
A much longer tradition of defining orgasm comes from artists and writers, who often define or illustrate orgasm by its transcendent, mind altering effects. These definitions are far and away the most colorful, but obviously don't offer any standardized definitions of what an orgasm is. The term "la petit mort" which the French use to describe the semi-conscious post-orgasm experience is a good example of a definition which is more experiential than scientific.
As you might guess, in the absence of a clear orgasm definition winner, some propose that to define orgasm we have to consider all three elements.
Two researchers from McGill University have proposed a model of orgasm that encompasses all three of the above elements:
1. Sensory. This refers to all the physiological experiences in our body, including feeling heat, muscle tension and release, heart rate, blood pressure, etc…
2. Evaluative. This is the way we experience and evaluate what's happening; does it feel good or bad, pain or pleasure, intense or mild?
3. Affective. Or our emotional response during and after orgasm; do we feel intimacy or distance, transcendent or grounded, happy or sad.
This model is recommended for at least three reasons. First, this definition focuses on the experience and not the sexual behaviors. It doesn't refer to what body part is stimulated, or how it is stimulated. This makes sense since we don't all have the same bodies, and we don't all get sexual pleasure in the same way. Second, this definition of orgasm complicates matters. Most traditional models of orgasm have been based on Masters and Johnsons sexual response cycle, which is a useful but overly narrow definition of orgasm. Finally, this model doesn't favor one aspect of orgasm over another.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Edging
In a sexual context edging refers to the process of bringing yourself or a partner right up to the point of orgasm and then pulling back before release, and then repeating the process. Edging can be lots of fun and it’s also a great way to deepen your connection to your own, or someone else’s sexual response. Here are a few tips and techniques for edging.
Time Required: The whole point of edging is to prolong and postpone orgasm, so edging can take any length of time.
Here's How:
1. Do yourself first.
If you’re interested in doing edging with a partner the best way to practice is on your own. Masturbate but don’t let yourself orgasm. Instead bring yourself right to the point of release and slow down or stop stimulation. Do this a few times before letting yourself finish. Pay attention to how your body changes as you get closer to orgasm, and where the energy goes as you tease yourself up and then down again.
2. Handjobs.
For most people edging is most effective using your hands. If you’ve got good motor control and dexterity in your hands it allows you to control the pressure and location of stimulation and adjust the speed of stimulation easily. If your hands aren’t the part of your body you can use the most, use whatever body parts you have the greatest control over. If you’ve come to rely on penetration play it might be a good opportunity to reacquaint yourself with the art of the handjob for women or handjob for men.
3. It’s all about the other person.
If you’re edging with a partner, you need to realize that it’s all about them. The sexual thrill being the edger is the control you have, and often the lustful pleading you get to be on the receiving end of. But to do this well, you need to tune 100% into your partner, the edgee. This means paying close attention to verbal and non-verbal communication and being open to feedback all the time. It also means being confident enough to take direction without taking offense.
4. Engage all your senses.
Listen to the sounds of your partner breathing, notice how shallow breaths sound different than deep breaths. Listen for the difference between a moan that signals impending orgasm and a moan of erotic frustration. Look at their naked body. The skin can change color at different stages of arousal and you may notice goose bumps or other surface changes. You can also look for changes in muscle tension and relaxation. Pay attention to what they’re doing with other body parts, fingers, toes, hands, shoulders. You can also feel differences in temperature and body movement.
5. Be prepared to change the stimulation.
Practice different ways of stimulation, varying the kind of touch from light as a feather to firm and controlling. You can also change the direction of stimulation from up-and-down to circles to a pump/squeeze motion. As you become a more masterful edger you can try to change the stimulation more gradually so the edgee doesn’t even notice a sudden stop, but instead slowly ramps up and down without reaching climax until you’re ready for them to.
6. Change the location of stimulation.
You can also bring your partner back from the brink of orgasm by switching up where you stimulate them. Unless you’re trying to be punitive avoid just stopping stimulation altogether. Instead you can move from the genitals to other body parts (knees, nipples, thighs, etc…) If you want to make the ramping down transition smoother, integrate these other kinds of touch and places to touch during the ramping up part.
7. Make the edgee work for it.
It’s your responsibility to be in tune with your partner’s level of arousal, but you don’t have to do all the work. They can use sexual breathing techniques or squeeze their pelvic muscles to exert some control. And most importantly they can talk to you, telling you when they’re about to reach orgasm.
8. Edging for stronger orgasms.
Edging isn’t just a fun way to bring some teasing into your sex play. Most people report that orgasms from edging are more intense and stronger. If you already orgasm regularly and are looking for a way to expand orgasmic potential, playing with edging can show you what your body is capable of experiencing. It can also be powerful for the partner providing the stimulation as, when it’s done well, it shows how much power to please we all have.
9. Edging for education.
Education might not sound like a sexy motivating factor, but in order to do edging well, you need to pay close attention to your partners body during sexual arousal and orgasm. The process of learning the cues about when they are near orgasm, what they look and sound like as they are ramping up to orgasm, and what they’re like as they are coming down, is a process of becoming more aware and attuned to their sexual experience. This ability to connect will enhance almost any sexual experience with them.
10. Edging in power play.
When it comes to the consensual exchange of power, sometimes called “power play” or BDSM, edging is kind of a perfect sexual game to play. Some people will incorporate edging into sex play where the partner being stimulated is tied up. When done properly, the edgee ends up begging for release, and is rewarded for their patience with an orgasm that is all the more intense for having been built up over time.
Time Required: The whole point of edging is to prolong and postpone orgasm, so edging can take any length of time.
Here's How:
1. Do yourself first.
If you’re interested in doing edging with a partner the best way to practice is on your own. Masturbate but don’t let yourself orgasm. Instead bring yourself right to the point of release and slow down or stop stimulation. Do this a few times before letting yourself finish. Pay attention to how your body changes as you get closer to orgasm, and where the energy goes as you tease yourself up and then down again.
2. Handjobs.
For most people edging is most effective using your hands. If you’ve got good motor control and dexterity in your hands it allows you to control the pressure and location of stimulation and adjust the speed of stimulation easily. If your hands aren’t the part of your body you can use the most, use whatever body parts you have the greatest control over. If you’ve come to rely on penetration play it might be a good opportunity to reacquaint yourself with the art of the handjob for women or handjob for men.
3. It’s all about the other person.
If you’re edging with a partner, you need to realize that it’s all about them. The sexual thrill being the edger is the control you have, and often the lustful pleading you get to be on the receiving end of. But to do this well, you need to tune 100% into your partner, the edgee. This means paying close attention to verbal and non-verbal communication and being open to feedback all the time. It also means being confident enough to take direction without taking offense.
4. Engage all your senses.
Listen to the sounds of your partner breathing, notice how shallow breaths sound different than deep breaths. Listen for the difference between a moan that signals impending orgasm and a moan of erotic frustration. Look at their naked body. The skin can change color at different stages of arousal and you may notice goose bumps or other surface changes. You can also look for changes in muscle tension and relaxation. Pay attention to what they’re doing with other body parts, fingers, toes, hands, shoulders. You can also feel differences in temperature and body movement.
5. Be prepared to change the stimulation.
Practice different ways of stimulation, varying the kind of touch from light as a feather to firm and controlling. You can also change the direction of stimulation from up-and-down to circles to a pump/squeeze motion. As you become a more masterful edger you can try to change the stimulation more gradually so the edgee doesn’t even notice a sudden stop, but instead slowly ramps up and down without reaching climax until you’re ready for them to.
6. Change the location of stimulation.
You can also bring your partner back from the brink of orgasm by switching up where you stimulate them. Unless you’re trying to be punitive avoid just stopping stimulation altogether. Instead you can move from the genitals to other body parts (knees, nipples, thighs, etc…) If you want to make the ramping down transition smoother, integrate these other kinds of touch and places to touch during the ramping up part.
7. Make the edgee work for it.
It’s your responsibility to be in tune with your partner’s level of arousal, but you don’t have to do all the work. They can use sexual breathing techniques or squeeze their pelvic muscles to exert some control. And most importantly they can talk to you, telling you when they’re about to reach orgasm.
8. Edging for stronger orgasms.
Edging isn’t just a fun way to bring some teasing into your sex play. Most people report that orgasms from edging are more intense and stronger. If you already orgasm regularly and are looking for a way to expand orgasmic potential, playing with edging can show you what your body is capable of experiencing. It can also be powerful for the partner providing the stimulation as, when it’s done well, it shows how much power to please we all have.
9. Edging for education.
Education might not sound like a sexy motivating factor, but in order to do edging well, you need to pay close attention to your partners body during sexual arousal and orgasm. The process of learning the cues about when they are near orgasm, what they look and sound like as they are ramping up to orgasm, and what they’re like as they are coming down, is a process of becoming more aware and attuned to their sexual experience. This ability to connect will enhance almost any sexual experience with them.
10. Edging in power play.
When it comes to the consensual exchange of power, sometimes called “power play” or BDSM, edging is kind of a perfect sexual game to play. Some people will incorporate edging into sex play where the partner being stimulated is tied up. When done properly, the edgee ends up begging for release, and is rewarded for their patience with an orgasm that is all the more intense for having been built up over time.
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
How to spice up your sex life
It really doesn’t matter how strong and long is your relationship with your partner, it doesn’t matter how many times you have sex together but for sure flame of sex life between you two going to burn out one day.
So there is always a need to spice up your sex life to maintain long and healthy relationship. Studies have shown most people split because of lack of spice in their sex life.
So if you are really interested in maintaining good relation with your partner, your sex life should be at par with the best. Here are some tips which will really gonna help you up in this matter.
1. Decorate your Bedroom
Simply decorating your bed room can help in adding spice in sex. Definitely a messy bedroom full of laundry, cable tv will distract you from concentrating on each other.
So to wildly satisfy your sex partner you should get rid all of those things from your bedroom. A clean bedroom, tidy bed and some candles and see the magic.
2. Sudden Sex
Sudden sex without any preparation is sometimes very exciting and can add up extra spice to your sex life. Approach your partner with sudden hints and attempts.
3. Sharing Thoughts
Sex becomes more entertaining if you become more expressive with your partner. Never hide your emotions and thoughts with your partner, more the comfortable you each other more you will enjoy sex.
4. Fore Play
Pretending to be your partner’s favorite fantasy character and playing fore games with each other. Dress yourself like teacher and student or nurse and doctor and talking dirty with each other.
5. Sexy Dance
Do a little sexy and intimating dance together. Women prefer to do striptease and it really works great for both. While dancing touch each others body sensually and put off each other clothes.
6. Rent an Instructional Sex Video
There are many sex videos in the market which are really helpful in learning new sex positions and techniques. These videos are generally narrated by sex therapists along with practical implementations
7. Game Plan
Challenge your partner in his favorite game like basketball. The person who wins the game do what ever want to do with him or her. This thing really helps in killing bore dome and same time provoking to have sex.
So there is always a need to spice up your sex life to maintain long and healthy relationship. Studies have shown most people split because of lack of spice in their sex life.
So if you are really interested in maintaining good relation with your partner, your sex life should be at par with the best. Here are some tips which will really gonna help you up in this matter.
1. Decorate your Bedroom
Simply decorating your bed room can help in adding spice in sex. Definitely a messy bedroom full of laundry, cable tv will distract you from concentrating on each other.
So to wildly satisfy your sex partner you should get rid all of those things from your bedroom. A clean bedroom, tidy bed and some candles and see the magic.
2. Sudden Sex
Sudden sex without any preparation is sometimes very exciting and can add up extra spice to your sex life. Approach your partner with sudden hints and attempts.
3. Sharing Thoughts
Sex becomes more entertaining if you become more expressive with your partner. Never hide your emotions and thoughts with your partner, more the comfortable you each other more you will enjoy sex.
4. Fore Play
Pretending to be your partner’s favorite fantasy character and playing fore games with each other. Dress yourself like teacher and student or nurse and doctor and talking dirty with each other.
5. Sexy Dance
Do a little sexy and intimating dance together. Women prefer to do striptease and it really works great for both. While dancing touch each others body sensually and put off each other clothes.
6. Rent an Instructional Sex Video
There are many sex videos in the market which are really helpful in learning new sex positions and techniques. These videos are generally narrated by sex therapists along with practical implementations
7. Game Plan
Challenge your partner in his favorite game like basketball. The person who wins the game do what ever want to do with him or her. This thing really helps in killing bore dome and same time provoking to have sex.
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